V ADMIRATION
MARTIN ARMSTRONG TRADER
ART BELL – BROADCASTER
ALEX COLLIER CONTACTEE
OWEN COOK SPEAKER
MARY ANNE CROFT WRITER/ACTIVIST
ROBERT CRUMB ARTIST
DAVID FINCHER DIRECTOR
MARC-ANDRÉ HAMELIN PIANIST/COMPOSER
CLIF HIGH LINGUIST
ALEX JONES BROADCASTER/ACTIVIST
MARCO MAGGI ARTIST
JOHN MCCRAKEN ARTIST
ROGER PFUND ILLUSTRATOR
VLADIMIR PUTIN POLITICIAN
JAMES TURREL ARTIST
VII MAXIMS
MAKE EVERY DAY A PILGRIMAGE TOWARDS THE THINGS I WANT.
CALL ON HELP AND GUIDANCE
WHEN ASKING FOR MENTORSHIP, NARROW THE FOCUS.
CLEARLY DEFINE WHO I WANT TO BE AND WHAT I WANT FOR THE WORLD.
ASSUME SUCCESS.
REPLACE I WANT, I NEED WITH I INTEND, I ACCEPT
WE CONDEMN IN OTHERS THAT WHICH WE FEAR IN OURSELVES.
DICTATE REALITY BASED ON THE CREATION OF EXPERIENCE, RATHER THAN EXPERIENCE.
BE THE EXPRESSION OF BENEVOLENT JOY ITS CONTAGIOUS. FOCUS ON CREATING JOY.
INTENTIONALLY PULL THAT WHICH I WANT TOWARDS ME
CONNECT TO THE EARTH, CONNECT TO SOURCE.
MAKE THE SPACE EVERY DAY TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU INTEND.
BET ON YOUR STRENGTHS AND DONT CARE ABOUT THE THINGS YOURE NOT GOOD AT.
IF YOU WANT TO BE AN ANOMYLY, YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE ONE.
STICK YOUR DNA!
LEARN TO BUY AND SELL TIME.
PUT YOUR THOUGHTS OUT THERE.
BE MINDFUL OF LEGACY WHEN YOU LOSE, YOU LOSE OPPORTUNITY.
IF YOU WANT IT YOULL FIND A WAY, IF YOU DONT YOULL FIND AN EXCUSE.
TREAT EVEYONE AS IF THEY WERE A MILLION DOLLAR CUSTOMER.
EXAMINE YOUR MOTIVES AGAINST YOUR VALUES
BUILD A PERSONALITY BASED ON CHARACTER, VALUES, WORK AND GROWTH
CHANGE PARADIGMS FOR MAJOR LEAPS
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BREAK THE LAW, WE CAN ONLY BREAK OURSELVES AGAINST THE LAW
WE ARE WHAT WE REPEATEDLY DO. EXCELLENCE IS A HABIT.
IF YOU THINK THE PROBLEM IS OUT THERE, THAT THOUGHT IS THE PROBLEM.
HAPPINESS IS THE ABILITY TO SACRIFACE WHAT WE WANT NOW, FOR WHAT WE WANT EVENTUALLY
ALLOW SOMEONE TO EXPERIENCE THE WRONG THING DONT TEACH WHEN THE ATMOSPHERE IS CHARGED
PRIVATE VICTORIES PECEDE PIUBLIC VICTORIES
ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF THE GOOSE THAT LAYS THE GOLDEN EGGS
BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RESPONSE LIES OUR POWER TO CHOOSE, AND IN THOSE CHOICES LIE OUR QUALITY OF LIFE.
IMAGINE TEACHING SOMEONE HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION AS IT IS UNFOLDING
PROACTIVE PEOPLE ARE MOTIVATED BY VALUES, REACTIVE PEOPLE ARE MOTIVATED BY STIMULUS.
COURAGE IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF FEAR, BUT THE AWARENESS THAT THERE IS SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT.
IF YOU WAIT TO BE ACTED UPON, YOU WILL BE ACTED UPON.
REACTIVE LANGUAGE BECOMES A SELF-FULFILLUNG PROPHESY.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REACTIVE AND PROACTIVE IS FOCUSING EITHER ON THE CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE OR CIRCLE OF CONCERN.
REACTIVE PEOPLE FOCUS ON HAVES, PROACTIVE PEOPLE FOCUS ON BEING.
IF YOU DONT ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MISTAKES, THEY EMPOWER THEMSELVES.
CULTIVATE INTEGRITY BY MAKING AND KEEPING PROMISES, SETTING AND REALISING GOALS.
BE A LIGHT, NOT A JUDGE. BE A MODEL, NOT A CRITIC.
LOOK AT THE WEAKNESS OF OTHERS WITH COMPASSION.
EXCERSISE FREEDOM LITTLE BE LITTLE EVERY DAY, IT GROWS. IF NOT, IT WHITHERS AND YOU BEING LIVED.
A CONSTITUTION IS THE BASIS FOR MAKING MAJOR LIFE DECISIONS AND EMPOWERS US WITH STRENGHT IN THE MIDST OF CHANGE.
THE CENTRE OF OUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE IS OUR BASIC PERSONAL SECURITY, GUIDANCE, WISDOM & POWER.
CREATE ONE CENTRE THAT GIVES TIMELESS CONGRUENCY AND HARMONY.
AN ABSTRACT MEANING OF LIFE COMES ONLY FROM THE CIRCLE OF CONCERN
SAY YES TO IMPORTANCE; SAY NO TO THE UNIMPORTANT; AVOID THE URGENT.
YOUR FINAL PARADIGM IS THE CRITERION THROUGH WHICH ALL BEHAVIOUR IS ADJUSTED
SELF RESPECT IS DOMINION OVER SELF
YOU CAN’T TALK YOURSELF OUT OF A PROBLEM YOU BEHAVED YOURSELF INTO.
IT IS MORE NOBLE TO GIVE YOURSELF COMPLETELY TO AN INDIVIDUAL THAN TO LABOUR AT THE SALVATION OF THE MASSES.
ALWAYS LOOK FOR MUTUAL BENEFIT
DIAGNOSE BEFORE YOU PRESCRIBE
VIII QUESTIONS
WHAT MAKES ME INTERESTED? WHY HAVENT I ILLICITED BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS TO MAKE ME INTERESTED IN THEM?
WHAT CRAP IS STOPPING ME FROM SUCCESS?
WHAT DO I BECOME WITHOUT FEAR?
WHAT IS THIS SITUATION TEACHING ME?
HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE?
WHAT STRUCTURE DO WE WANT TO LIVE IN? START THE DIALOGUE
WHAT ARE MY THREE MOST IMPORTANT VALUES?
IF I HAD £1000000?
IF I ONLY HAD 6 MONTHS TO LIVE?
WHAT IS MY IDEAL WORK SITUATION?
WHAT IS MY IDEAL FAMKLY SITUATION?
WHAT IS M IDEAL FINANCIAL SITUATION?
WHY AM I NOT ALREADY SUCCESSFUL?
WHAT ONE SKILL COULD I DEVELOP THAT WOULD IMPROVE MY LIFE?
IF I COULD BE DSCIPLINED IN ANY AREA, WHAT AREA WOULD HAVE THE MOST IMPACT?
IF I COULD TALK TO ONE PERSON, LIVING OR DEAD, WHO WOULD IT BE?
WHY? WHAT QUESTIONS WOULD YOU ASK?
WHY WOULD THAT PERSON WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME?
WHAT WOULD THE WORLD LOOK LIKE IF EVERYONE WAS LIKE ME?
WHAT IS THE ONE QUALITY IN MY LIFE I WOULD LIKE TO EMULATE?
WHICH SITUATIONS AM I MOST CONFIDENT?
IF I WAS ALREADY AN ENLIGHTENED, 4D BEING, HOW WOULD I BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY?
WHAT HAVE I DONE RIGHT? WHAT WOULD I DO DIFFERENTLY?
WHAT SKILL DETERMINE THE QUALITY AND QUANTITY OF MY RESULTS?
WHAT ARE MY 3 BIGGEST FEARS?
WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT? WHAT ARE THE WORST CASE SCENARIOS?
WHAT WOULD I DO IN EACH SITUATION IF I WAS GUARANTEED SUCCESS?
WHAT HAVE I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO BUT BEEN AFRAID TO ATTEMPT?
WHAT WOULD I DO DIFFERENTLY IF I WAS GUARANTEED SUCCESS?
IN WHAT 3 AREAS IN LIFE DO I EXPERIENCE FAILURE AND LOSS?
WHAT STEPS COULD I TAKE TO ELIMINATE THIS LOSS?
IN WHAT 3 AREAS IN LIFE DO I EXPERIENCE THE MOST CRITICISM, REJECTION OR EMBARESSMENT? HOW COULD I OVERCOME THESE FEARS?
WHAT ONE GREAT GOAL WOULD I ATTEMPT IF I WAS GUARANTEED SUCCESS?
WHAT WOULD I DO DIFFERENTLY IN LIFE IF I HAD 20 MILLION DOLLARS IN THE BANK BUT ONLY 10 YEARS LEFT TO LIVE?
IDENTIFY ONE AREA IN MY LIFE WERE I NEED TO PERSIST HARDER TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS, AND THEN TAKE ACTION IN THAT AREA
IDENTIFY A GOAL IN MY LIFE THAT I FAILED TO PERSIST UNTIL COMPLETION. WHAT STEPS COULD I TAKE COMPLETE THIS GOAL TODAY?
IDENTIFY ONE BIG GOAL THAT I ACHIEVED BECAUSE I PERSISTED AND REFUSED TO GIVE UP, NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT.
DECIDE ON MY MAJOR DEFEINITE PURPOSE WRITE DOWN CLEARLY. FAILUER IS NOT AN OPTION. MAKE A DECISION TO SUCEED.
RESOLVE TO ACHIEVE ONE IMPORTANT GOAL AND WORK ON IT UNTIL COMPLETION.
1. LOOK AT PEOPLE’S LANGUAGE
2. THINK OF A SITUATION YOU WILL EXPERIENCE AND THINK HOW YOU CAN BE PROACTIVE TO IT, PICTURE YOURSELF. MAKE A COMMITEMENT TO CHOOSE.
3. IDENTIFY PROBLEMS IN YOUR LIFE AS DIRECT, INDIRECT, OR NO CONTROL, AND PROPOSE PROACTIVE STEPS TO SOLVE
4. 30 TEST OF PROACTIVITY AND WATCH THE CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE GROW!
IMAGINE YOUR FUNERAL, WHAT KIND OF BROTHER/SON/FRIEND/WORK COLLEAGUE/PERSON WHERE YOU?
WHAT IS DEEPLY IMPORTANT TO ME? VISUALISE THE END TO FIND OUT!
IDENTIFY AN IMPORTANT ACTIVITY YOU KNOW HAS BEEN NEGLECTED IN YOUR LIFE – ONE THAT IF DONE WELL, WOULD HAVE A SIGNICANT IMPACT IN YOUR LIFE. WRITE IT DOWN, AND COMMIT TO IMPLIMENT IT.
WHICH OF MY RESPONSIBLITIES I COULD DELEGATE?
WHAT ARE MY ROLES AND GOALS?
WIN-WIN
1. THINKING ABOUT AN UPCOMING NEGOTIATION – COMMIT TO BALANCING COURAGE AND CONSIDERATION
2. MAKE A LIST OF OSBTICALS THAT KEEP ME FROM MAINTAINING THE WIN-WIN FRAME – ELEMINATE THE OBSTICALS
3. FIND A SPECIFIC RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT TO BE WIN-WIN – WRITE DOWN HOW THAT PERSON SEES THE SOLUTION – THEN LIST WOULD WOULD BE WIN FOR ME
THEN APPROACH PERSON AND REQUEST TO SPEAK UNTIL YOU BOTH REACH A MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL SOLUTION
4. IDENTIFY 3 KEY RELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE – ASSESS WHAT I THINK THE BALANCE IS IN EACH OF THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNTS. WRITE DOWN WAYS OF MAKING DEPOSITS.
5. WHAT IS MY INNER SCRIPTING? (WIN-WIN, WIN-LOSE, LOSE-WIN, LOSE-LOSE)???
6. Identify a model of win-win thinking. closely whatch this person.
IX QUOTES
Victor Franco:
“We detect our missions in life
everyone has their own specific vocation and mission in life, therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus everyones task is as unique has his specific opportunity to implement it
. ultimately man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognise that it is he who is asked
Each man is questioned by life, and he can only asnwer to life by asnwering for his own life. To life, he can only respond by being responsible.”
preter drucker:
“successful people are opportunity minded, not problem minded. THey feed opportunities, and starve problems.”
Eric Frome:
“Today we come across an idividual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person he knows is the person he is supposed to be. His meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, his synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull dispair has taken the place of genuine pain. He suffers from the defects of sponteniety and individuality, which may seems to be incurable
(and) he does not differ essentially from the millions of us who walk upon this earth.”
Merlin Ferguson:
“Noone can persuade another to change. each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. we cannot open the gate of another either by argument or be emotional appeal”.
Thomas Paine:
That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness alone that gives everything its value.
Thoreau:
I know of no other more encouraging fact, than the unquesiotning ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavour.
Reactive:
That’s just the way I am!
She makes me so mad!
I can’t do that, I don’t have the time!
If only she was more patient!
I have to do it
They cant allow that!
There’s nothing I can do!
I can’t!
I must!
If only!
I gave to do that!
Proactive:
Let’s look at the alternative
I can choose a different approach
I can control my own feelings
I can create
I will choose an appropriate response
I CHOOSE
I PREFER
I WILL
Samuel Johnson:
The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who has so little knowledge of human behaviour has to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in friutless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove.
Oliver wendell holmes:
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us.
deposits in the emotional bank account: – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – ->
1. understanding the individual + their frame of reference
2. attending to the little things – small acts of courtesy
3. keeping commitments – if you can’t, ask for release from the commitment
4. clarify expectations – don’t let roles and goals be ambiguous or conflicting, don’t assume expectations are self evident
5. show personal integrity, honesty, be loyal to those who are not present – defend those who are absent to gain the trust of those present – treat everyone with the same set of principles- no deceptive communication
6. apologising sincerely when you fail in the above areas – “I was wrong” – admit it quickly. Hesitation to apologise comes from worrying how people see you.
WIN-WIN AGREEMENTS CONSIST OF:
0. NO DEAL IS ALWAYS AN OPTION
1. desired results
2. guidelines, priciples, parameters
3. resources, support
4. accountability methods
5. consequences – good/bad
BE EMPATHETIC MIMIC, REPHRASE AND REFLECT CONTECT AND FEELING, OFFER BIOGRAPHY ONLY IF IT ASKED FOR; MEET EMOTION WITH EMPATHY.
1. be systematic
2. beliefs – attitudes – feelings – actions – habits
3. habits can never be eliminated, they can only be modified
4. know a power greater than yourself
5. make everything semi-automatic
6. brand your empowering habits / systems
7. quick + simple habits
8. deal with decision fatigue: plan, change environment, involve others, keep records
1. Understanding the Individual
In Coveys book, seven habits of highly effective people, one of the seven habits is seek first to understand then to be understood. Truly understanding what others are feeling is not always that easy. We must remove ourselves from our egocentric viewpoint and put ourselves into the minds and shoes of others. I say minds and shoes because we must try to first understand the thought patterns and second walk in their shoes or empathize with them.
One of my major faults when communicating with others is, while they are talking I tend to think what I am going to say next. Truly understanding someone requires us to wholly and completely concentrate on what the other person is trying to say, not reloading, just waiting to fire off your response
2. Keeping Commitments
Certainly when we break our promises to others, we make major withdrawals from their Emotional Bank Accounts. However, keeping commitments is not just relegated to promises. It also includes things such as arriving to work and appointments on time, fulfilling our duties, and living up to every word that comes out of our mouth.
3. Clarifying Expectations
There is nothing more frustrating in a relationship than not understanding what is expected of you. Although many of us wish we could be, we are not mind readers. And because each of us sees life differently and has different backgrounds and life experiences, expecting someone to just know is not only unfair but completely unrealistic. Its important that the person with whom you are dealing with, knows exactly what is expected of them. Doing this will keep them out of the dark and allow them to relate you confidently, knowing that what they are doing is in line with your expectations.
4. Attending to the Little Things
Little courtesies, kind words and warm smiles are at the heart of the little things that brighten up a relationship. It shows recognition and an awareness of others. Its interesting, but within our relationships, if you want success, its the little things that really become the big things.
5. Showing Personal Integrity
Nothing is probably more damaging to a relationship, then a lack of integrity. Being that the Emotional Bank Account is based upon trust, you could essentially be doing all of the previous things, but without trust, it is to no avail. Integrity means wholeness, completeness, or soundness. In this case soundness of moral character. Integrity is the rock-solid foundation upon which all successful relationships are built.
6. Apologizing Sincerely When We Make a Withdrawal
Granted, we are all mortal. We make mistakes. Thats part of life and learning. Knowing when you are wrong and admitting your mistakes prevents the wounds that youve caused in others from festering and allows them to heal. When appropriate, sincere apology will keep your relationships accounts in the positive, allowing you to maintain the balance that has been created in your application of all of the previous steps.
